Confessions of a No Lights No Lycra Addict

Those who know me may have heard me raving about one of my favourite past times – No Lights No Lycra (NLNL) because it is SO FREAKIN FUN. Head to the link for the full story but in short, basically you go into a room, the lights get switched off and you dance your ass off to excellent tunes for an hour – without the fear of anyone seeing your potentially heinous dance moves. I love it. I head along whenever I get the chance, to the Adelaide one in Stepney and shake what my mumma gave me. It’s a chance, for most, to switch off mentally however I have found that with the tunes pumping and my feet moving, some odd things pass through my mind – so I thought I would share them with you…(and hey, maybe you might want to come along some time?)

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  • Oh Wow, it’s so dark…OHMIGAWD WHOSE HAND IS THAT ON MY NECK? Oh wait, it’s mine…
  • Argh how great is this song, hey if Missy Elliot can learn all the words to a Missy Elliot song then I should be able to as well. I’d be a sick rapper…
  • Not enough people pull out the ‘shopping trolley’ move in the club. I must incorporate it next time I hit the d-floor
  • Oh wow, I’m stuffed…how has it only been four songs….
  • SHIT YEAH THIS SONG TOTALLY SPEAKS TO MY SOUL, I AM TOTALLY ADDICTED TO BASS

 

  • Note to self, I must download ALL Taylor Swift songs when I get home, especially the earlier stuff
  • There really isn’t enough Prodigy on the work playlist, I think I’ll add ‘Smack My Bitch Up’ when I’m in the office next
  • Shit I am good at this, I wonder if ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ is still a thing…actually I may as well go straight to the top, hopefully Britney is still taking applications for dancers for her Vegas show, I’m a shoe in
  • Oh shit, note to self, don’t pull that move again, Alicia you need your ankles functioning for the purpose of WALKING
  • Oh what is this song, I must ask the girl who programmed the list, I really want to add it to the playlist for my fantasy wedding reception (actual legit thing)
  • Holy shit, I like most music but for some reason Dubstep really makes me want to destroy every electrical appliance I own – even the ones I really like…
  • Gee George Michael really was so sassy in his prime – and I honestly think that the use of tambourine in Faith is pure musical genius
  • Oh wow, this song is great, I haven’t heard THIS club track since 2003 when I thought Celicas were the coolest cars in the world because the cute boy down the street drove one…he turned out to be a bit of a knob. No surprises there.
  • WHAT?! Last song already…okay I better enjoy this…
  • Just sayin, how bloody awesome is my damned fine, strong, beautiful, powerful and capable body that allows me to dance like crazy for an hour? AND how awesome are the bits that jiggle when I shake ma thang? They the best.
  • OHMIGAWD IT IS SO BRIGHT…BRIGHT LIGHT BRIGHT LIGHT.

 

12 HOURS LATER:

Does anyone know a good physio? It hurts when I try to human.

48 HOURS LATER

Eugh can’t it be Monday already? I wanna dance again!!!!

 

Will I Ever Be Bey? Part Two…

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I donned my favourite dancing pants and got into the swing of things!

If you had told me this time last week that I’d be dancing in broad daylight, stone cold sober to a Justin Bieber song in front of a crowd of people at Gluttony – I’d probably have asked what you’d been smoking. But it’s happened now and I can’t take it back – really, I can’t, there’s video evidence of it on the internet.
If you read my post last week, you might already know that I don’t exactly consider myself to be the best of dancers but I want to be…I really really want to Bey. So when I heard about the Bey dance classes I was keen to jump on board – though I didn’t know that I’d be shakin my booty in front of a crowd.
The class kicked off on a warm Saturday arvo in Gluttony but thank goodness for air con and fans because you can’t dance up a storm without working up a bit of a sweat! The wonderful founder of Bey Dance, Liz introduced us to our teacher, Rhys and broke the news that may have shattered some attendees – we wouldn’t actually be dancing to a Beyonce song (what, oh no!) but instead a Justin Bieber song. Thankfully the Biebs has come into his own recently – no more of this whiny ‘oh baby baby’ rubbish. No. ‘Sorry’ was one of the catchiest yet not completely shit songs of 2015 and I wasn’t sorry that we would be getting to dance along to that (though I am sorry for that sentence, it was shameful and the use of the word sorry as a mild pun was pathetic. Soz).
On one hand we were thrown into the deep end – getting straight into the moves but on the other hand, we were thrown really gently! The way that Rhys and Liz eased everyone into the choreography whilst also helping us feel like we were achieving something really quickly was impressive. I’ve tried my hand at a few dance classes over the years and I’m not lying when I say this was the most fun, most energetic and most satisfying!
Sure, my legs are still aching a bit today (though that may have more to do with the extra dancing that I did ALL Saturday night…) however it was totally worth it! The Bey dance class was all about being confident and positive – not necessarily about getting the moves 100% right. That being said, the moves were simple enough that it wasn’t too difficult at all – and even if you didn’t get them right, you would still look pretty damned fabulous!
So after an hour and a half, filled with plenty of laughter, we were gently ushered out into the centre of Gluttony to ‘flashmob’ the crowd outside. It was heaps and heaps of fun – while I can’t bring myself to watch the video of it, I feel like it doesn’t matter what we looked like because it was an absolute blast! Thanks Bey Dance!

Will I Ever Be Bey? Part One…

I like to think that I’m pretty brave and pretty smart but there is one thing that continues to leave me doubting myself, time and time again. No matter how hard I try, how much effort I put in or how much booze I consume, I can never get over the deep-seated fear I have about my moves – of the dance variety that is.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m always the first out on the dance floor at a party – but the sprinkler is my go to move, and ain’t no body has ever made the sprinkler look all that sexy (though I do dare you to try and prove me wrong…).
I’ve been to class after class of every style of dance over the years and while I always have fun, I never seem to really get into the swing of it…
I’ve bumbled through a bit of Bollywood, stumbled through a sexy salsa class and have spent the best part of the last year and a half hobbling away from weekly hip hop classes. I’ve got the enthusiasm but if I’m honest with myself, I sure as hell ain’t got the coordination to pull it off.

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This is a thing that happened once when I attempted dancing (yes, I was also drunk at Mardi Gras but there was defs dancing!)
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See – “Dancing”….dammit tequila.

I come from a long line of terrible dancers though– my own dad being a prime example. He has one move, he calls it “washing clothes in the river” and it involves some awkward downward punching. My Grandma was a big fan of line dancing – enough said.
My dance career was doomed by genetics.

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The kind of quality dancing that my genetics allow me…

That being said, I’m always up for a challenge – even if it does mean that I could end up looking like an absolute fool – though I’m assured that this won’t be the case.

I first heard of Bey Dance a year or so ago and ever since then I’ve been keen to jump on board one of their classes. Unfortunately, as being an adult has taught me, life often gets in the way of a good time. It’s taken a while for me to have a chance to find my inner Bey but finally as Adelaide Fringe rolls around, with plenty of dance workshop opportunities with this wonderful crew, I will finally get to do it. Yes, this Saturday I get to fulfil my dream of participating in a Bey Dance class- but I’m scared…what if I make a dick of myself? I’ve done it before (publicly make a dick of myself that is) – we need not mention the unfortunate contemporary dance class I attended last year but suffice to say, struggle was the word of the day. I’ve only heard good things about the Bey Dance classes and the team behind them so I’m gonna put on my big girl pants (actually, a pair of really pretty gym leggings because dressing nicely makes me more motivated to exercise, it’s a genuine strategy…) and I’ll throw my inhibitions out the window and dance my little ass off, not caring how I look. Why? Because I have journalistic integrity and I want to be able to honestly report back to you lovely readers the full Bey Dance experience…and also a little bit because I want to learn to look sassy, fierce and all together ultra sexy next time I hit the dance floor – please help me Bey Dance!

 

Watch this space to find out how I get along…or better yet, come along and give it a go yourself – https://www.facebook.com/events/113948608992395/

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Let’s see if we can improve on this – and be more sober than this…