Collage Art Girl is not a ‘Cool Girl’ – the Cool Girl is just a figment of the heteronormative male mind. Collage Art Girl is probably cooler than the Cool Girl and unlike the Cool Girl, Collage Art Girl was thought up in the mind of women. Collage Art Girl makes me feel good about myself – unlike the Cool Girl, or should I say, the troupe of her – but unfortunately, like the Cool Girl, she probably does lack a little bit of depth.
The Cool Girl, for the uninitiated (or those who managed to avoid seeing or reading Gone Girl or those who haven’t sat and critically analysed much of the mainstream television and film culture created in the last 20 years), is essentially a woman who acts like a man. But she’s gorgeous. Stunning. She gives no fucks; she drinks beer without a second thought for her stomach movements or the impact of bloating. But she wouldn’t dare speak up to a man, she wouldn’t dare point out a flaw in his thought process. All of this is because a man created her. And sadly, for a while, women felt like they had to be her.
And this is where the differences between Collage Art Girl (let’s shorten it to CAG) and the Cool Girl start to appear.
CAG knows herself – she really knows herself. She wouldn’t ever do something unless she really wanted to – she’s always driven by her own love of and respect for herself. She drinks beer – if she wants to, but she also might be sober, not because it’s what someone (a man?) expects, but because she feels like it’s the right thing for her. She’s creative and talented and successful to boot. CAG speaks her mind – but not flippantly, she knows what she’s talking about, and she does so with fervent passion. And if she hurts a man’s feelings or ego in the process, she doesn’t really mind. She’s not there to be mean though, the hurt is just a side-effect of her usually being right when maybe the man is just a little (if not more) wrong. If you met her, you really would want her to be your friend – or you might want to date her if you’re so inclined.
But where did she come from? Well, the origin story is a little less inspiring and a little more sobering. She started as an enemy for me, before she became a friend, but I don’t think that’s my fault, I think that’s the fault of a society that has, for many years, pitted women against each other.
A few years ago, I was at the very beginning of a new relationship. Excited and swept up but completely insecure and unsure of myself (I can barely recognise the girl in my memory, but I know she was there). The flurry of texts flew back and forth each day and dates and promises were being slotted into empty spots in my calendar. But self-doubt was burying itself into every crevice of my being. “Why would this guy date me when he could date someone else? Someone cooler, someone who makes collage art for a living, selling her wares on social media and publishing her pieces in internationally renowned indie magazines to be viewed by eyeballs across the globe?”
I think it’s important to pause and note that this guy wasn’t anyone particularly special – at least in an objective sense. I obviously thought he was the bee’s knees which is why I was all caught up with my thoughts of inferiority next to his (in my mind) obvious brilliance. (Spoiler alert, my thoughts on that would in fact change over time).
But I invented this woman – an ‘other woman’ if you will, in the form of CAG, who, if he decided I wasn’t worth his time, would be the kind of incredible soul he would want to date – and why wouldn’t he? She sounded phenomenal! I wouldn’t blame him!
Perhaps I created this character in my mind to soften the blow if I did end up being rejected. I know a lot of the thought process was a projection of my own insecurities. The things that I wasn’t happy or comfortable with about myself a few short years ago, but as I started to learn to love myself a little more, CAG took on a new shape, a new form and gained a much more useful purpose.
Fast forward to a time after that relationship ended (there’s a part where I got the ick, where he had a bit of the old possessive temper and I realised that I needed to get to know myself a little better alone…anyhow!) and I was in a new job, I had new friends and was living in my own beautiful home.
I started to tell my gorgeous co-worker the story about Collage Art Girl (aka the projection of my own insecurities and the way that it may have inhibited my previous relationship), but I realised that in no way did I resent the woman I had created in my mind. In fact, I felt inspired by her. I realised that I had created someone who was everything I wanted to be – well maybe not the collage art bit, I’ve always had very average spatial awareness and very little patience for intricate tasks – but the confidence and the choicefulness (a made-up word) that CAG had were something to be in awe of.
We began to make a joke of it saying, “What Would Collage Art Girl Do?” any time a conundrum arose – especially ones involving the brutal complexities of dating. Feeling rejected, dejected, or simply obliged by the pressures of contemporary courting? Ponder, WWCAGD and suddenly things would seem clearer (she would probably go hang out with her girlfriends, get on the dance floor, either sober or with a drink in her hand and get to her daily step count between the hours of midnight to 1am. She wouldn’t give a damn).
She would tell her friends that she loves them every chance she gets. She would look after her body and her soul. She would pursue her career and her creative goals – if she wanted, but she would also critically consider the capitalist structure in which she exists, making choices that both challenge the expectations of society yet while still looking out for her future self – having a 5-year plan might seem conformist but a girls gotta be smart. Even a Collage Art Girl.
So, sure, just like the Cool Girl troupe, Collage Art Girl really just exists for the purpose of my own projection – but I’m not projecting my desires onto anyone other than myself. Whenever I’m starting to have a bit of self-doubt or about to make a choice that might be a bit rash, desperate or from a place of self-haltered I think “WWCAGD?”. A friend recently pointed out that what I’m probably doing is asking, “is this a choice made from a place of love?” but it feels much more fun to imagine a wonderful carefree, smart, talented spirit and ask, what would she do in this moment and imagine that I can channel her. Plus, by asking WWCAGD, there’s part of me that’s imagining she’s real. Which would be cool – because I’d kind of love to be her friend – though in reality, she’s already my friend. Every single one of the ladies who I love probably have a whole heap of Collage Art Girl in them, and that’s why I love them.
Alicia Norton 