Oh yes, it’s ladies night…

After writing about The Bachelor Australia last week and making a statement along the lines of ‘how boring would a party with 24 women and one hot man be?’ I must stand corrected – some what.

This past weekend, I partook in the long standing Australian tradition of a football club ladies night, an evening in which standards and class go flying out the door and are quickly replaced with heaving lust and ear piercing squeals of excitement…
Now I must admit, this certainly isn’t my first foray into this time honored affair – nor my second or third – I believe I have been attending this annual affair at the local club for around 6 years now – but don’t tell anyone!

So it’s not quiet like the bachelor – the women in the room aren’t playing for love – we’ll I’d hope not, when they’re there to see paid strippers, and be waited on hand and foot by young football players – most of whom are young enough to be the guests sons! That’s not to say it’s exclusively and event for the ‘young at heart’ but damn, these women, most my mothers age sure do like them some strippers!

So onto what you all want to hear about – the strippers. The crowd went nuts for the…nuts. There wasn’t a whole lot to see though – a quick flash here, a sneaky reveal and a hell of a lot of showmanship. Were we disappointed? Hell no. These men were ripped and they were dancing for us – because we had paid them to. The room of around 100 somewhat drunk women were on the edge of their seats waiting for the extra reveal and giggling with their girls. Magic Mike does not do this experience justice.

If you are yet to see a male strip show, I suggest you get your ladies together and go forth and conquer this world of tack and ridiculousness. Why? Because men go to see strippers all the time. Yes, women tackle the experience in a whole other way and generally it’s a lot more tongue in cheek than a serious man perv. Sure it’s not bad having a little look see at what I might be missing out on but hey they call it ladies night for a reason – it’s because you’re getting out with all your ladies and letting loose – let’s hope not too literally…

The waiters may have been there trying to pick up – hell, as we left for the night, one of my lady pals was asked for her number and from what I can gather she made a good choice in handing it over – a much better choice than her past forays into the world of tinder, but that’s another story for another time…

Should I be talking about this? After all, the old saying goes ‘what happens at ladies night, stays at ladies night’ but to hell with that – if I wanna tell you how awesome it was seeing male strippers, I’ll damned well tell you. And I’m not ashamed, not one bit and hell, even though I did blush, once or twice.

I have no shame, not even an ounce.
I have no shame, not even an ounce.

Ten More Things I Know to not be True, A.K.A Lies I Tell Myself…While Watching ‘The Bachelor Australia’

  • When my boyfriend walks past, laughing at my house mate and I saying ‘you know this is all fake right’; “No way, this shit is life or death, conflict in Gaza, sanctions on Russia, The Batchelor Australia, all important world issues”
  • The girls are walking in, a few stumble in their sky high heels and floor length gowns; “uh hmm if that was me I’d be gliding in like the elegant swan that I am, not a baby foal talking its first steps…amateurs!”
  • Brilliant, the one who they’ve framed as the ‘crazy stalker’ girl has arrived; “I don’t understand why they’re framing this as weird, singing an out of tune ditty you just wrote to a guy is freakin’ endearing…”
  • All the ladies have made it inside; “It’s okay to pour myself another glass of champagne, the boxing class I did two hours ago is still workin its magic…”
  • Osher Gunsberg comes on to tell us what the white rose means; “It’s not weird, not one bit at all that Andrew G is now called Osher because of a spiritual awakening…you gotta be a spiritual guy to be a presenter on this show…”
  • There’s a cocktail party with ONE MAN and 24 WOMEN; “I got this, I’d totes excel in this situation, no stress, I’d be all like “whatever, all these bitches ain’t got shit on me” and just generally dominate, none of this erratic craziness we’re seeing here…”
  • When it becomes clear that a number of women on this show have unaddressed psychological issues; “Ethics?! Who needs ethics! Making a top notch reality TV series means pushing the limits, even if the contestants are mentally unstable and will inevitably leave worse off than when it started…”
  • While drunk Sam stands looking longingly at Beautiful Blake (or BB as he will henceforth be known); “When trying to get a man’s attention, I’ve never once been that a) creepy b) desperate c) drunk…”
  • Boyfriend walks past again, this time he says ‘ugh, that shows is still on? Do you realise that it’s probably giving you eye cancer?!’; “Uhm has not, in fact it’s clearly increasing my IQ”
  • It’s over; “I literally can’t even. What will I do with myself for the next week until it returns? I may quiet LITERALLY die of withdrawals. What’s that? It’s on again Thursday night? But I have to go to the gym. I will go to the gym and watch the catch up episode online later…I WILL GO TO THE GYM….”
Blake…his looks are open to interpretations but his charm and six-pack are honest and true.