The Adelaide Stuff It List

Adelaide, you’re amazing! You’re my home town – the only place I’ve ever lived in fact, but that’s all about to change as I do one of the most typical Adelaide things to do…and leave Adelaide.
Many a list has been put together of fantastic things to do in Adelaide (here’s one from the Adelady gals)  before you kick the proverbial bucket but what about a list of things to do when you’ve decided to leave the city (for a while)? What about a list for when you say “I’m going into hiding (moving to Melbourne) for a while”?
I present to you, the Adelaide bucket stuff it list.

  • Walk Burnside Village in your pajamas
  • Hit up an unnamed outer suburb dressed (and behaving) as Tru and/ or Pru from Kath and Kim
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#heros image from here.
  • Sit at the start of the Mt Lofty hike eating a KFC family pack. Make eye contact and smile at everyone who passes by. Continue until you pass out from overeating.
  • Join The Adelaide Fountain Diving Team (a concept concocted by equally crazy aunties. It’s pretty simple; you swim in Adelaide fountains. Bonus points for fountains protected by fences…)
  • Head to the Central Market (or any other fabulous local market) and shamelessly consume ‘samples’ until you are content. Take a disguise for seconds if need be, but don’t forget, you’re leaving so who cares?!
  • Maslins Beach. Do it good and do it proper, you know what I mean.
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Live. This Dream. Image from…
  • Busk in Rundle Mall. Don’t have a talent? It don’t matter – everyone can yodel after a bottle of wine
  • Ride the bull at The Woolshed. Bonus points if you do it in a dress
  • Ride a bike along the linear trail and tell your deepest darkest secrets to walkers (and pray to god that they only hear a tiny snippet as you whiz by)
  • Hit up a late night eatery along Gouger street and order the house wine by the carafe (or BYO for a bargain price) play drinking games until you’re politely asked to leave
  • Go to windy point. Go stand outside a rocking vehicle and just start cheering. When you get sick of cheering, start singing “Sweet Caroline” (for no reason other than that song is so fun to sing and it’s kind of hilarious to harass a snogging couple with)
  •   Ride the Popeye and convince a stranger to go all Titanic (no, not the bit where they bang in the car…or where they die an icy death) and head to the front, get nice and cozy and shout “I’m king of the world!” or alternatively “that plank could have fitted two”
  • Head to the Zoo with the classic book “where did I come from” and read it to Funi and Wang Wang. It seems they’re not all that sure on how to make it happen. Our whole city is rooting for you guys (pun intended)
  • Attempt to mount the malls balls
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Image from here!
  • Do the same with the malls pigs
  • Streak at Adelaide oval? (if you can cop the massive fine…)
  • Photobomb weddings in the Botanic Gardens
  • Live like a tourist for a weekend – pitch a (canvas) tent in Vic Square!
  • Have a drink on the Balcony at the Hotel Richmond. Take a spray bottle full of water. Come on, you know what to do (if it wasn’t clear, you’re here to squirt people in Rundle mall as they walk on by…and then DUCK!).
  • Get “Adelaide famous”. To be clear being “Adelaide famous” isn’t necessarily a good thing. Below is an image of my version of “Adelaide famous” – I was twenty and I was not aware that this photo was being taken. Then I recognised my legs on a Marble Bar poster. My friends will NEVER let me live it down.

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I’ve done a few of these things already (though I won’t admit to which) but what I will admit to is that, despite abandoning Adelaide for Melbourne, I don’t really have any very good plans. I’m so lost in fact, that I’m putting on a Fringe show (my debut solo after being nominated as best new comer by Adelaide Comedy in 2016!) all about writing a bucket list! Want to help me with the challenging task before I abandon our beautiful city? Hit up Fringe Tix for your own ticket here.

10 Reasons To See One Beer Weird

Hey gorgeous! If you’ve made it this far you’re probably my kind of people already. I mean to get here you had to knowingly click on a link or type in a URL featuring my name – which is pretty confronting in itself – so go you! Pour yourself a wine, you deserve it. Don’t worry, I’ll wait til you’re done (I’m polite like that (which is a good enough reason to see my show, right?)) but even though you’re here, maybe you’re not sold yet. If so, fear not, for I have compiled a list, complete with 10 excellent reasons that my show is perfect for you.

  • You saw the 2007 film The Bucket List and which you found it endearing and inspirational, you thought “I reckon a 26 year old girl from Adelaide could do that better”
  • You understand that there is no science behind vision boards however you’ve read (and kind of believed) that they totally work
  • You have the bizarre desire to exercise some control over another person’s life (you weirdo)
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Could YOU even choose between Whitney or Britney?!
  • You get very chatty after one drink
  • You don’t even need one drink to get chatty
  • You know what a bucket list is and the first item on yours is to write one
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Come on, I dressed up as my dead dog for a party…
  • You have one single signature dance move that you pull out at every social occasions and sometimes just when a really good song comes on in the supermarket
  • You’re a generous, loving weirdo who wants to help a lost little kitten (me, I am the kitten in this scenario) find her way in this big bad world
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Help me, I’m so lost…
  • You like to laugh (well that was a given)
  • You sometimes wonder if you’re alone or if everyone else is just as nuts but just not showing it…

Are you convinced yet? If I got you across the line, you can grab tickets from here but if you aren’t there yet, maybe I’m not for you (and you therefore have terrible taste!)

that time I had a one mic stand…

I did something a little bit out of the norm the other night. In the lead up to doing it, some people called me brave, other people called me crazy, while a few looked genuinely concerned for me. Almost a week ago I had a go at stand up comedy. Yep, I willing partook in an act which many would describe as their own worst nightmare.

The feeling that I had in the hours leading up to my spot at a local (and incredibly supportive) open mic night was like nothing I had experienced before. I’ve felt a bit nervous here and there but this certainly took things to another lever – like ADHD butterflies has inhabited my stomach – and I was so uncomfortable, it was as if my sweat glands had developed their own sweat glads. I felt like I produced enough sweat to fill an olympic swimming pool – or at least one of those little kiddie clam shell things. I willingly went for a run after work to try and clam myself down – and this from someone who doesn’t like running. Most of the time I’d rather eat my own foot than willingly ‘go for a run’ like it ain’t no thang…but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Still on edge I drove to the gig, managing to get there without causing a major traffic incident. I decided a beer would calm me down (momentarily forgetting how beer makes me kinda burpy…) and chatted with mates to try and distract myself from what could be imminent social suicide…

A few acts hit the stage – some kicked goals while others bombed harder than…well hard. That being said, the audience were amazing at supporting the broad range of performers – suddenly I felt much more at ease.

My time came and just as soon as I hit the stage it was over – well in my mind at least. My five minute set when in a blur of bright stage lights and all of a sudden I was back and sitting in the audience. I could breathe again!

My friend’s assured me that I went well but I had my doubts. At the end of the night the MC announced the performer that he had deemed best, and all of a sudden he was saying my name (!) WHAT?! Needless to say I was on the best natural high all night – so good in fact that I don’t think I got a wink of sleep that night. Now the real test comes – I’m supposed to go back next week and back it up. Does anyone know any good methods for disappearing without a trace?!

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