The Adelaide Stuff It List

Adelaide, you’re amazing! You’re my home town – the only place I’ve ever lived in fact, but that’s all about to change as I do one of the most typical Adelaide things to do…and leave Adelaide.
Many a list has been put together of fantastic things to do in Adelaide (here’s one from the Adelady gals)  before you kick the proverbial bucket but what about a list of things to do when you’ve decided to leave the city (for a while)? What about a list for when you say “I’m going into hiding (moving to Melbourne) for a while”?
I present to you, the Adelaide bucket stuff it list.

  • Walk Burnside Village in your pajamas
  • Hit up an unnamed outer suburb dressed (and behaving) as Tru and/ or Pru from Kath and Kim
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#heros image from here.
  • Sit at the start of the Mt Lofty hike eating a KFC family pack. Make eye contact and smile at everyone who passes by. Continue until you pass out from overeating.
  • Join The Adelaide Fountain Diving Team (a concept concocted by equally crazy aunties. It’s pretty simple; you swim in Adelaide fountains. Bonus points for fountains protected by fences…)
  • Head to the Central Market (or any other fabulous local market) and shamelessly consume ‘samples’ until you are content. Take a disguise for seconds if need be, but don’t forget, you’re leaving so who cares?!
  • Maslins Beach. Do it good and do it proper, you know what I mean.
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Live. This Dream. Image from…
  • Busk in Rundle Mall. Don’t have a talent? It don’t matter – everyone can yodel after a bottle of wine
  • Ride the bull at The Woolshed. Bonus points if you do it in a dress
  • Ride a bike along the linear trail and tell your deepest darkest secrets to walkers (and pray to god that they only hear a tiny snippet as you whiz by)
  • Hit up a late night eatery along Gouger street and order the house wine by the carafe (or BYO for a bargain price) play drinking games until you’re politely asked to leave
  • Go to windy point. Go stand outside a rocking vehicle and just start cheering. When you get sick of cheering, start singing “Sweet Caroline” (for no reason other than that song is so fun to sing and it’s kind of hilarious to harass a snogging couple with)
  •   Ride the Popeye and convince a stranger to go all Titanic (no, not the bit where they bang in the car…or where they die an icy death) and head to the front, get nice and cozy and shout “I’m king of the world!” or alternatively “that plank could have fitted two”
  • Head to the Zoo with the classic book “where did I come from” and read it to Funi and Wang Wang. It seems they’re not all that sure on how to make it happen. Our whole city is rooting for you guys (pun intended)
  • Attempt to mount the malls balls
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Image from here!
  • Do the same with the malls pigs
  • Streak at Adelaide oval? (if you can cop the massive fine…)
  • Photobomb weddings in the Botanic Gardens
  • Live like a tourist for a weekend – pitch a (canvas) tent in Vic Square!
  • Have a drink on the Balcony at the Hotel Richmond. Take a spray bottle full of water. Come on, you know what to do (if it wasn’t clear, you’re here to squirt people in Rundle mall as they walk on by…and then DUCK!).
  • Get “Adelaide famous”. To be clear being “Adelaide famous” isn’t necessarily a good thing. Below is an image of my version of “Adelaide famous” – I was twenty and I was not aware that this photo was being taken. Then I recognised my legs on a Marble Bar poster. My friends will NEVER let me live it down.

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I’ve done a few of these things already (though I won’t admit to which) but what I will admit to is that, despite abandoning Adelaide for Melbourne, I don’t really have any very good plans. I’m so lost in fact, that I’m putting on a Fringe show (my debut solo after being nominated as best new comer by Adelaide Comedy in 2016!) all about writing a bucket list! Want to help me with the challenging task before I abandon our beautiful city? Hit up Fringe Tix for your own ticket here.

10 Reasons To See One Beer Weird

Hey gorgeous! If you’ve made it this far you’re probably my kind of people already. I mean to get here you had to knowingly click on a link or type in a URL featuring my name – which is pretty confronting in itself – so go you! Pour yourself a wine, you deserve it. Don’t worry, I’ll wait til you’re done (I’m polite like that (which is a good enough reason to see my show, right?)) but even though you’re here, maybe you’re not sold yet. If so, fear not, for I have compiled a list, complete with 10 excellent reasons that my show is perfect for you.

  • You saw the 2007 film The Bucket List and which you found it endearing and inspirational, you thought “I reckon a 26 year old girl from Adelaide could do that better”
  • You understand that there is no science behind vision boards however you’ve read (and kind of believed) that they totally work
  • You have the bizarre desire to exercise some control over another person’s life (you weirdo)
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Could YOU even choose between Whitney or Britney?!
  • You get very chatty after one drink
  • You don’t even need one drink to get chatty
  • You know what a bucket list is and the first item on yours is to write one
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Come on, I dressed up as my dead dog for a party…
  • You have one single signature dance move that you pull out at every social occasions and sometimes just when a really good song comes on in the supermarket
  • You’re a generous, loving weirdo who wants to help a lost little kitten (me, I am the kitten in this scenario) find her way in this big bad world
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Help me, I’m so lost…
  • You like to laugh (well that was a given)
  • You sometimes wonder if you’re alone or if everyone else is just as nuts but just not showing it…

Are you convinced yet? If I got you across the line, you can grab tickets from here but if you aren’t there yet, maybe I’m not for you (and you therefore have terrible taste!)

Will I Ever Be Bey? Part One…

I like to think that I’m pretty brave and pretty smart but there is one thing that continues to leave me doubting myself, time and time again. No matter how hard I try, how much effort I put in or how much booze I consume, I can never get over the deep-seated fear I have about my moves – of the dance variety that is.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m always the first out on the dance floor at a party – but the sprinkler is my go to move, and ain’t no body has ever made the sprinkler look all that sexy (though I do dare you to try and prove me wrong…).
I’ve been to class after class of every style of dance over the years and while I always have fun, I never seem to really get into the swing of it…
I’ve bumbled through a bit of Bollywood, stumbled through a sexy salsa class and have spent the best part of the last year and a half hobbling away from weekly hip hop classes. I’ve got the enthusiasm but if I’m honest with myself, I sure as hell ain’t got the coordination to pull it off.

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This is a thing that happened once when I attempted dancing (yes, I was also drunk at Mardi Gras but there was defs dancing!)
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See – “Dancing”….dammit tequila.

I come from a long line of terrible dancers though– my own dad being a prime example. He has one move, he calls it “washing clothes in the river” and it involves some awkward downward punching. My Grandma was a big fan of line dancing – enough said.
My dance career was doomed by genetics.

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The kind of quality dancing that my genetics allow me…

That being said, I’m always up for a challenge – even if it does mean that I could end up looking like an absolute fool – though I’m assured that this won’t be the case.

I first heard of Bey Dance a year or so ago and ever since then I’ve been keen to jump on board one of their classes. Unfortunately, as being an adult has taught me, life often gets in the way of a good time. It’s taken a while for me to have a chance to find my inner Bey but finally as Adelaide Fringe rolls around, with plenty of dance workshop opportunities with this wonderful crew, I will finally get to do it. Yes, this Saturday I get to fulfil my dream of participating in a Bey Dance class- but I’m scared…what if I make a dick of myself? I’ve done it before (publicly make a dick of myself that is) – we need not mention the unfortunate contemporary dance class I attended last year but suffice to say, struggle was the word of the day. I’ve only heard good things about the Bey Dance classes and the team behind them so I’m gonna put on my big girl pants (actually, a pair of really pretty gym leggings because dressing nicely makes me more motivated to exercise, it’s a genuine strategy…) and I’ll throw my inhibitions out the window and dance my little ass off, not caring how I look. Why? Because I have journalistic integrity and I want to be able to honestly report back to you lovely readers the full Bey Dance experience…and also a little bit because I want to learn to look sassy, fierce and all together ultra sexy next time I hit the dance floor – please help me Bey Dance!

 

Watch this space to find out how I get along…or better yet, come along and give it a go yourself – https://www.facebook.com/events/113948608992395/

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Let’s see if we can improve on this – and be more sober than this…

 

Ten Adeladies You Should Check Out This Fringe…

Have you looked around lately? You’d be crazy not to because this beautiful city of ours is absolutely BRIMMING with talent!

With the Adelaide Fringe Festival taking over the town in the next few weeks, there’ll be endless chances to catch some of the best international and established performers for over a month – but that doesn’t mean you should forget about the locals!

There are heaps of people kicking goals in the Adelaide arts scene – and better yet, plenty of gals representing! It’s tough to make a decision on where to throw your cash but hey, this year how about you throw some of it at a local babe – in an artistic sense that is! So without further ado, here’s my personal list of Adeladies you should see at this year’s Fringe!

To continue reading this post, head on over to http://adelady.com.au/10-adelaides-you-should-see-at-the-fringe/ – also don’t forget to grab tix to my show… available from Fringe Tix!

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