The rap battle to end all others.

Sooooo the weather is coming in a little bit average – that cold wet stuff is falling from the sky and many people are retreating indoors, my friend Moe included. The other day, I ‘innocently’ tweeted him – something about catching up that night or what have you, however, possibly in this chilly, indoor induced boredom he took my friendly tweet as a threat. What followed was an intense all out rap battle (via Twitter). I feel that there was no clear winner (I’m saying this, but deep down I feel that I won) so I’m sharing this with the word to help find a winner. Feel free to comment and let me know who you think won – my comments are in bold (because I’m the boldest, duh). Also to help give you a better idea about who we are, see these pictures that help represent us – first up, Moe;

He’s the one in the Snow White one and all the ladies make-up, with the drunk guy passed out on top of him…
Here he is (once again) partially dressed in women’s clothing…the rest is just….frightening
Here he is, making fun of a culture that is not his own…what a jerk.
and here’s an image that may explain what happened to all those missing back packers…

And just to remind you of who I am….

Here I am, literally carrying another human person on my back, because I am just that selfless.
Here I am, voluntarily delivering an inspirational speech – it was so moving that at the end, a wheelchair bound woman who hadn’t walked for ten years took her first steps…
Look at me, I’m classy yet I am still ‘one of the people’…
This one time I brought a dead fox back to life, just by patting it.

Now without further ado, see below for the battle to begin…..

@MoeLiebelt pal, mate, friend, buddy you are so off the mark it’s not even funny

@AliNorts oh daymmmn dis turnin into a rap battle now?! Don’t put your ass on the line, you got no class, if class was in you’d be schooled

@MoeLiebelt ouch that burn was hot but you are not and your rhymes? Get with the times. Mess with me, you’ll fail the test.

@AliNorts test? Please. Don’t mess with the best. You wanna measure up? Get in line with the rest. I’ll watch from the top, feeling blessed

@MoeLiebelt the best you say, don’t make me laugh, your rhymes are so bad even street dogs barf who even writes em? Slave labour staff?

@AliNorts Slavery? That’s all u got? Time for the cot. U think your rhymes r pretty funny? I’ll send u to mummy she’ll give you your dummy

@MoeLiebelt you mentioned my mother, how bout I give a shout to your brother?! Even after tinnies he’s more coherent than you, do I stutter?

@AliNorts dunno if you stutter, nobody’ll notice. It’s me they want surely you know this? So please sit down, enjoy the show miss.

@MoeLiebelt a little bit of modesty can go a long way, it’s a lesson you better learn fast or this miss will make you pay.

@AliNorts miss I think you’re mistaken. These rhymes got you shakin’? Thanks for participatin, but it’s me you’ll be payin’

@MoeLiebelt it ain’t over til I say so, when I’m done you’ll be wailing like you subbed yo toe!

@AliNlorts u stil here? Thought I was alone. Bout time you were shown to the retirement home.

@MoeLiebelt says you old man! You tryin’ to give me the flip? I’m worried you’ll break a hip.

@AliNorts if you weren’t so young I’d flip you the bird. Now have you heard? It’s nap time, hush child, don’t say a word

@MoeLiebelt With youth on my side, I’ll take all your challenges in my stride. I’ll bring the truth and put a dent in your pride.

@AliNorts youth is fine, but on this stage youth ain’t worth a dime. You rhyme so bad it should be a crime deep down u know I ain’t lyin

@MoeLiebelt cut the bullshit and get to the point, I wanna throw your sad sorry ass, outta this joint.

@AliNorts lame, tame Alicia Jane. Don’t be a pain, go play in the rain.

@MoeLiebelt Moe rhymes with hoe, got spend that money on one named joe.

@AliNorts *rolls eyes, face palm* must your rhymes be so calm? All you get is burn like chillies in your lip balm

@MoeLiebelt you want crazy? Well I can go loco, you talentless little mofo.

@AliNorts your sanity we need not mention, knew u were crazy from the moment u stepped in, best step back out and quit your frettin

@MoeLiebelt I’ll never step back, I’ll never back down because unlike you I ain’t no clown.

@AliNorts true. I open my mouth, it’s laughter you’re hearin, but it ain’t at me, it’s for you they feelin

@MoeLiebelt bitch at what you even playin?! If you spoke less words maybe more girls you would be layin…..

@AliNorts and if you think less bout me layin and more bout your words you’d be more than just playin you’d be here to be heard

@MoeLiebelt hear me loud, hear me clear, if you don’t get a lady soon, we’ll start to think you’re queer

@AliNorts I hear hate speech, please mate don’t preach. Your homophobia ain’t adorable it’s dumb’n damn deplorable

@MoeLiebelt fine, for that I apologise but quit kiddin, no more lies. You need to get it together bro, not soon but pronto!

@AliNorts I’m together, I’m with it, you see for me the sky’s the limit. But from you I hear no wit just tired tit bits

@MoeLiebelt You call me tired? I’m wide awake and with what I could drop, you should be ready to quiver and shake.

@AliNorts a shake would be nice, and some fries. It’s comfortable here watching you try

@MoeLiebelt either way I”m doing better than you, it’s as if you’ve given up, admit defeat, you know it’s true.

@AliNorts I’m not defeated it’s you who’s retreated. You’re nothing more now than deflated and depleted

@MoeLiebelt please mother licker, I’m faster stronger and fitter, than you or anyone else who dares think they can rap quicker.

@AliNorts I spit quick running backwards up Lofty. So fit you can’t stop me, believe it, just watch me.

@MoeLiebelt think you can beat me, you’ll need more than your fitness, I’m whippin ya so good – just ask God, he’s my witness.

@AliNorts you can’t whip what you can’t catch. I’m so far ahead and you’re no match. Ain’t your fault, I’m the best of the batch

@MoeLiebelt attacking my skills? At least I pay my bills, I’m climbing up hills and returning loans on time, making me pretty damn sublime.

@AliNorts your skills? There’re none to attack. My accounts are all in the black. Get back to work, quit talking smack out your crack

@MoeLiebelt work you say? like it’s something u know, your lazy ass sitting out while you watch my rhymes flow, easy just like a Hindley hoe

@AliNorts I’ve never met a hoe from Hindley, nice to meet you, thank you kindly. You say you’re easy? Must charge a low feeeeeeeeee

@MoeLiebelt oh no you did not, you filthy foul rot – but I’m surprised, I see through your lies – aren’t those the gals giving you ur highs?

@AliNorts I don’t need no highs my skills tower over you. You think you’re all that but you got no follow through

@MoeLiebelt I would follow thru but i’m not into physical violence so when I hit u with my rhymes and I hear only silence that’s my triumph

@AliNorts your hits all miss, you’ve met your measure, but I’m here to educate, it’s my pleasure

@MoeLiebelt learning from you? Couldn’t think of anything worse! You’re so bad it makes me wanna curse!

@AliNorts listen fool you’re being schooled. So far you’ve just drooled, at your feet it’s pooled and every rhyme you’ve spat I’ve overruled

@MoeLiebelt You’ve had your fun, but it’s time this battle was won, admit defeat, son you’re all done – back to mummy you should run

@MoeLiebelt You been silent a while, looks like I’ve won by a mile! I’ll see ya at 5.30 for dinner, then you can gaze on a winner!

@AliNorts she’s stupider she’s from Jupiter

@MoeLiebelt he’s a prick apparently he has a small dick

So who do you think won? Comment below or tweet either of us #rapbattle to let us know!

2 thoughts on “The rap battle to end all others.

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